As Granny is asking you all to send in your experiences and pictures of your loved ones...
...I thought it only fair that I would introduce you to Granny’s mother, who was the inspiration behind the formation of the group.
In her latter years, she lived with Vascular Dementia and over a period of approximately 10 yrs her health slowly declined, and she eventually passed over in 2004.
In her working life she was a comptometer operator for Jimmy Deuchar, then when they were taken over by Newcastle Breweries she transferred over to their office block in Gallowgate opposite St James’s Park.
She calculated all the information supplied from the stock takers who audited the wet stock of the many public houses owned by the company.
She was a very experienced operator and her skills on the machine had to be seen to be believed, very clever woman if I say so myself.
I have two stories that I would like to share with you regarding Great Granny and two pictures of how age and Dementia eventually affected her.
My mum came to live with me, which was against the advice of the consultant at the time, but due to circumstances beyond Granny’s control it was impossible to leave mum in her own home unsupervised.
She never did get comfortable living in my house which is understandable and I’m sure with hindsight and regret that it added to her confusion.
Bearing in mind I did have social services engaged by this time which allowed me to continue working.
They popped in three times per day, but very often you would find mum at the front door which I had to keep locked to avoid her wandering off trying to get home, to her home because like many other dementia sufferers especially when in care they just want to go back to their own homes. UNDERSTANDABLE
She was always dressed in her favourite bluey grey coat with her handbag draped over one shoulder like a racehorse in the gate waiting for the off, I’m sure in her own mind she had the inner strength to find her own way home although in practice it would have been more upsetting for her as her house had been sold by this time.
Often when the carers came in they would make her a cup of tea and thankfully things would settle down.
Secondly my mum didn’t sleep very well when she lived with me and quite often she would wake up in the night confused as to where she was as the layout of my house was completely different to the house she owned, and eventually she would find her way into my bedroom.
Thinking that I was her husband she would get into bed with me which the first time I thought was quite strange but then I decided just to let her get into the bed and I would just give her a quick cuddle and mostly she would just drop off back to sleep.
No harm done, a contented mum, jobs a gooden. In some circumstances you have to learn to work with what you’ve got.
Here are two pictures of mum, one showing her as a very young and attractive lady on the threshold of life.
Secondly showing mum as a frail elderly lady who after living a very fulfilled life yielded to the symptoms of Dementia and although no longer with us she is still loved and missed to this day.
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Hearing stories of other LGBTQ people’s experiences of living with dementia and Alzheimer’s reminds us that we’re not alone. Share your inspiring stories and messages to people from all around the UK to help and support each other.
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